And Then There Was None

I wrote about my friend who was pregnant.

Today I took her to the hospital. She had a miscarriage. She lost the baby.

I was driving her to the hospital and she lost it right there in my car. She is so strong, screaming in pain and still trying to crack jokes.

She wanted that baby, if no other reason then for her daughter to have a sibling.

She is alone, in her soul.

I am sad.

Sad.

Single Mom

My very close friend is pregnant. She is not married and sadly boyfriendless as well. When she first told me that she was with child we discussed her options and abortion was not one of them.

She had a one night stand with the man who is gonna be the father of her baby. He is not interested in being a part of her nor baby's life. I don't judge because shit happens to everyone, not that I should be calling a child-in-the-making shit. I have made a ton of stupid mistakes myself (probably will make a ton more) and when I see a friend in a sticky situation I try to be exactly what I am supposed to be, a friend, not a probation officer.

When she first found out about her pregnancy, she was scared and vulnerable which is very unlike her, unusually strong and optimistic girl. Well now she is 3.5 months along and is showing. Her belly looks like she swallowed a little pumpkin.

Yesterday she started bleeding and went to the hospital. The doctors said it doesn't seem to be a miscarriage but they are not sure what is going on. I was and still am very worried. What makes me sad is that she is all alone. She is a strong woman and knew what she was getting herself into, having this baby without a father, but it is still very sad. In times like this the man should be there with her in the hospital, holding her hand, showing support.

I want to have more kids and am ok with being a single mom (I already am one), but when I think of going through the process of pregnancy, birth, and raising a small child, I know that I don't want to do it alone. The first year of the baby's life is by far the hardest (my son is 8 and I don't know how hard his teens ahead are gonna be). I guess if I don't meet the man who would be my husband and a good father to any kids we might have together, I won't be having children.

Deep sigh

Discussing on Twitter

I am a big twitterhead . I communicate through Twitter for many reasons; to meet new people, network, learn what's happening in the world and the wide web, even voyeur. Twitter is my sin, it gives me something I don't get elsewhere. I see how the topics of twits change daily. Since I follow both Russian and American, even a few European twitterers I get to see the views from different ends of the world. People discuss a large variety of topics, anything from the obvious hot gadget like iPhone to peejays and get this, sexy stockings with strings. Yes! That topic dominated the twitter board on my screen all day yesterday. People flirted and got silly from across the world.

On the other side of the spectrum I noticed a not so happy subject that took dominance across the board on Twitter lately. Loneliness
"от одиночества умирают?" (translated: Can you die from loneliness?). Someone asked that today and it made me think...I don't know? Can you? There are men and women out there who are alone right now, some of them are all by themselves and others have someone who should be close to them but really they are the furthest away. There are those who are looking for love, and those who are just thinking about it, putting their thoughts down in a blog post. We are just lonely soles lost in the virtual world, and we find some comfort in it. I know I do.