I wrote about playing games a few times in my blog but I just want to address it again. I just don't understand why people like to fuck with each others heads.
A friend of mine (who is a perfect textbook example of a 30-something male) told me recently:
"When you like someone and show it the other person will always not be as interested as you are or even as you want them to be until the roles reverse".
I thought about that and have to agree even though I hate to admit it. I can say with confidence that I am not one of those people but I am as usual a minority. I act on instinct: meaning if I like a guy I will flirt and show my attraction and if I don't, I will not pay him much attention. So if I am obviously interested in you all you have to do is not get intimidated by my confidence and just enjoy it, we both know it won't last forever. I am not easy and I don't throw myself on men but if I meet someone who gets my juices flowing I will go for it. If I don't return your calls it's not because I want you to keep calling but because I don't want to talk to you. I don't like playing "hard to get", don't see a point in it but unfortunately it seems to be the way to get the boys.
Why do you guys like when the girl acts like she likes someone else? Why does it make you crazy with passion when your emails, IMs, sms and voicemails go unanswered? Why is it that when you sense that the girl who was interested in you at one point and whom you rejected because she came on too strong and is now cooled off towards you, you want her all of a sudden? She is still the same girl but she is tired of playing your games and is really not interested in you anymore, so just because you decided that now is the time to display your male animal-like behavior, will not make her want you, you missed out on your chance.
I think about this subject a lot and wonder. Relationships that start off being hot right off the bat, cool off very fast. But the ones that start as friendships develop a foundation that is much deeper than all the heavy breathing and morph into something real, even if that's just a stronger friendship.
I give up on pursuing men! That's it! Can't do it anymore. I obviously can't be who I am without being perceived as something I am not so I put my forwardness in my pocket. No more showing attraction, no more flirting. We'll see how that pans out.
Устала Маша.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Hard to Get Gets Harder
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2 comments:
Hmm... another interesting entry. Personally, I hate women who play games. I'm a bit of a dichotomy because I'm a little shy and that sometimes comes off as 'gaming'. Either that or it manifests itself in a very forward personality. And many times people who I'm NOT flirting with think I am and the people I AM flirting with think I'm a player. Usually now when I see someone I like I ignore them, not so much out of playing games but because I talk myself out of it. Yes, it is very exhausting being the one to lower your guard all the time only to find that you're the only one doing it.
Men, by definition, are clods and not very subtle at all. And we, the ones who are, very often are mistaken for being gay or aloof. It's because Western civilization does not embrace difference. If you are smart/cute/funny/serious and the people around you are not, then you're an outcast.
What you said about relationships that start out hot cool rapidly, that is SOOO right. I just got out of a stupid relationship that was extremely physical at the beginning but that woman never really knew me and ended up resenting me for being who I am and not what she wanted me to be.
Good luck, Maria. You are a special person in a very unspecial world. You're new-found assertiveness might be just what you need...
Rene'
"Usually now when I see someone I like I ignore them"
- it's unfortunate but that is exactly what I am talking about. You and I both don't like playing games but are forced into this Russian roulette of a dating game. We must be ignorant and cold for others to be interested in us. I think it is some kind of a twisted human nature. Why do people do that?
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