Offline

Me turning 30 had a great impact on my life. Sure the silly youthful mistakes are no longer justified but it is more than that. I am aware that many of you have been wondering what happened to me and if I will ever write again. I was hesitant to lay myself out in a web format but a letter from a stranger stirred something in me and influenced me to hit the keys which will result in yet another post. Thank you stranger, your letter means much more to me than you think.

I will tell you where I have been and why I chose to stay offline. The decision to stop twittering, blogging, IMing and overall communicating via internet was a very conscious one.

1. I decided to stop searching and chasing butterflies. So much of my energy was concentrated towards socializing that I started neglecting those who need me the most, those I love.

I am no longer in search of love. I still believe in it, it is just not what I am about any more. I am not looking for a man to sweep me off my feet, not looking for any new friends. I realized that while I was so busy searching I became blind that what I already have, that being my family.

I never mentioned but my son does have a father, a pretty good one at that. Sure he is far from perfect but he has been a part of my life since adolescence. I always loved him but the romance has dissipated over the course of many years as a family unit. Indeed we are a family and I intend to keep it that way. Me having selfish impulses is a terrible reason to destroy something that so many can only hope for. Our son has a mom and dad and that is so precious. Our relationship is far from perfect but it is a relationship that has been tested and stood through the good and a whole lot of bad.

I decided to give him another chance.
Me staying offline and aiming my energy towards my family became a seamless process.

2. Work is another reason that I quit social networking. I love my job and whether I wanted to admit it or not, socializing was distracting me. I just couldn't catch that high anymore, the high I get when I create and see results.

I want to say that I cut my computer time by 60% and am very happy with my decision. I am still around and after receiving that letter today I decided that I will keep blogging. I like writing, that is one of the ways I exercise my creative demons.