Closure

Closure. It's a needed final step to end a life chapter. Funny how it's not always what logic tells us it should be.

What happenned to me was rather tragic but there is no need to go into details anymore. I was eliminated from someone's life, a man whom I had feelings for. It wasn't premeditated on his part, he just didn't think and when we parted he didn't offer me an explanation. I was forced to think of scenarios that lead to such a cruel outcome. At times I thought there was something wrong with me; maybe I was fat, or ugly, or spoke too loud. I know that I am neither but when you get rejected this madness veils over your brain and it is so hard to break away.

I thought my closure would be to find out WHY.

Time has passed (9 months to be exact). With every day I thought less and less of him, the one who didn't even realize the depth of the wounds he laid on my heart. I came to terms that I will never get an explanation and proclaimed time to be my healer, my closure.

Out of the blue he stepped back in my life. One message, just a few words that stirred me from inside out.

"It's about time you forgave everything"

How would you react to that? I thought and thought and finally replied with what I considered my final goodbye, with what i hoped would be a final paragraph in that chapter. I didn't need his explanation anymore. I wanted to leave him in my past. He didn't understand what I was trying to say and was appalled at my rejection. I have no desire to be in contact with him and he kept insisting on us being friends. I found it absurd but kept my cool and tried to use my words to let him go yet again. He just didn't get it and when I realized how stupid he is, I felt bad for ever thinking he was more. He stooped down low and threw some insults at me which forced me to simply spam him.

My final words to him were:
"How stupid you are. I am sick of it. You are blocked."

I don't know if he will find another way to get to me or even if he'll try. I am certain that I have finally moved on. There is nothing to hold on to. I freed myself. I got my closure.