Alive

Emotions are life. When I feel, I breathe. I can be totally wrapped in sadness but as long as my heart beats out of sync I know I am alive.

Happy beats are rare.

I am afraid of being numb. I am in many ways but I know that I can still melt under the right touch.

And I breathe while I still can.

An American Gentleman

Do men still have manners?

American culture or more so lack there of... I have lived in the United States for the most of my life but never got used to men not having manners. In my culture the vast majority of men know how to treat a lady. Sure those guys can be jerks and possess many other negative qualities but I guarantee they will all open the door, pull out a chair and help the woman into the car. Russian men will take it as a disrespectful gesture if the woman even tries to pull out her credit card, while in America women who demand that kind of a treatment are considered golddiggers. Personally I am appalled by the lack of respect towards the female part of American society.

Commonly American men use this phrase as an excuse for their poor upbringing; "women fought for their independence and the right to vote and such, so they should take care of themselves". Excuse the fuck out of me but if you, the man, ask me to join you in a restaurant and we are not buddies why should I worry about the check? If you, the man, offer to give me a ride why should I struggle to squeeze into your car. If you, the man, see me, the woman, walking within a few feet of you, why can't you just hold the damn door open for me and let me walk in first? The list is neverending really... And please, guys, those ones of you who consider yourself well-mannered, think twice about that if you act like a gentleman and then expect a favor in return. I guarantee that all the poor mothers of these men always broke their back for their fathers and never even knew what it's like to be a lady.

I strongly believe that women should have many rights that men do but I am not denying that we are the "weaker sex". I personally can't fix a car and don't feel that I should but if I'm driving with a man and my tire pops his response shouldn't be; "let's call AAA". Women already work full time jobs and often enough are the heads of the household but that doesn't mean that a man should act like a bitch.

I am really not trying to piss you guys off, simply letting you know that I have no room in my life for ignorance.