My very close friend is pregnant. She is not married and sadly boyfriendless as well. When she first told me that she was with child we discussed her options and abortion was not one of them.
She had a one night stand with the man who is gonna be the father of her baby. He is not interested in being a part of her nor baby's life. I don't judge because shit happens to everyone, not that I should be calling a child-in-the-making shit. I have made a ton of stupid mistakes myself (probably will make a ton more) and when I see a friend in a sticky situation I try to be exactly what I am supposed to be, a friend, not a probation officer.
When she first found out about her pregnancy, she was scared and vulnerable which is very unlike her, unusually strong and optimistic girl. Well now she is 3.5 months along and is showing. Her belly looks like she swallowed a little pumpkin.
Yesterday she started bleeding and went to the hospital. The doctors said it doesn't seem to be a miscarriage but they are not sure what is going on. I was and still am very worried. What makes me sad is that she is all alone. She is a strong woman and knew what she was getting herself into, having this baby without a father, but it is still very sad. In times like this the man should be there with her in the hospital, holding her hand, showing support.
I want to have more kids and am ok with being a single mom (I already am one), but when I think of going through the process of pregnancy, birth, and raising a small child, I know that I don't want to do it alone. The first year of the baby's life is by far the hardest (my son is 8 and I don't know how hard his teens ahead are gonna be). I guess if I don't meet the man who would be my husband and a good father to any kids we might have together, I won't be having children.
Deep sigh
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Single Mom
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2 comments:
It's hard to keep an open view sometimes, especially with the people closest to us. I think people make their own lives so much more difficult than they need to be. But then again we all have different needs and I have to remind myself that most people do not have the gifts of creativity and self-introspection that I do to act as buoyancy. Many people need to be needed, need to nurture for no other reason except they themselves have never been nurtured. Life is long and full of stuff- we can decide what we want in our lives. As long as she's making the decision for the right reasons perhaps all will turn out well. Unfortunately, most people make the right decisions for the wrong reasons and wonder years later why they're not happy. I certainly hope this will not be the case with your friend. Best wishes to her. Her road is long and perilous...
Rene' (aka Johnny Cordova)
I had to read the above comment twice and it still made me think. I don't have a solid reply but I guess the best writing is the kind the leaves you wondering. The best part of being a blogger is the comments and I thank you.
I think her main justification for not aborting the pregnancy was her age. She is my peer, I am about to be 30 and she is already in that age box. I understand her. In todays world while living and working in the city, the dreams of meeting your other half (purposely not saying soulmate) become borderline unrealistic. I still believe that I will but she doesn't. When she was in the hospital yesterday they told her to abstain from intercourse and she just laughed. Even sex is often hard to come by for a beautiful, smart 30-something woman nowadays. Perhaps this is her last chance to conceive so she took it, took a chance on becoming a mother. Can't have a man, at least have a child.
I am not advocating that and from my post you can see that I wouldn't have taken the same path but I do understand how her decision was time and hormones driven.
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